give up.

i saw elvis costello and bob dylan tonight, which only reaffirmed my indifference to new music coming out and also increased my hatred for certain music already out there, i would mention names but that wouldn't be polite. I would just take rank among all the cowardly haters, spewing filth from computers all over the nation. So I won't, but I do believe that music has gotten worse, maybe there just isn't anything to sing about, but ya know..i don't know why I just said that..there is much to sing about, just too many people trying to sing about it...we need to cut down on the bands in America. I was at Cogans tonight and I saw an anarchist newspaper that called for the organization of an anarchist federation in Norfolk, now I know that anarchy does not call for the influence of chaos, but I found it mildly funny that there was an anarchist paper calling for "organization", oh well, maybe it was the Southern Comfort. Bob Dylan looked like a cute old man up there on stage tonight, singing songs that affected the world..he played High Way 61 revisted, masters of war, thunder on the mountain, etc....he didn't say a word between songs, it was refreshing, no needless, pointless stage banter. I'm tired, goodnight.

Mark and Rob....

I guess I feel like I should say some things regarding this change. The announcement on the website was rather brief as was Mark and Rob's goodbye notes...but that's not to say that we in the band don't recognize the loss. I love Rob and I love Mark to death and maybe it hasn't hit me yet, or maybe we have too much to focus on at the time being to let it really infect my thinking...nostalgia will surely have its way with me sooner or later. We know this is a bad blow, and we know that some people will abandon us, it would be silly to play like it was a minor change that we will skip on through. The point is....it sucks, but a lot of things suck, and you keep moving past those things. Dave and Jacob and I have definitely talked through some issues over the past week, and there is nothing for us to do but make music. It wouldn't make any sense to stop, but it would be dishonest and pathetically dismissive to act like it will all the the same, it won't be, it will be different, but MAE has never shyed away from change, or challenge..that is what makes us evolve. Like I said, I love Mark and I love Rob, and the music I made with them, and the times I spent up all night driving in the van, watching Mark play Grand Theft Auto like a zombie in the middle of the night, all the times Rob and I got up early together to walk and get lunch or breakfast. One time in New Jersey, while on tour with Copeland, Mark peed behind an amplifier on stage, into a bottle, right in the middle of our set. One time in New Orleans, Rob rode a mechanical bull and stayed on a whole one second. When I first joined, Mark jumped up and started dancing to the happy birthday song (ya konw, the generic version that restuarants sing because the real happy birthday song is copyrighted) right in the middle of a West Virginia Golden Coral. I don't know if I spelled that right. Anyway, the point is..the memories are there and they will never not be there. So whatever, things happen and sometimes you want them to happen and sometimes you don't, I don't believe in fate, but I do believe that people do things for a reason..and in this case, we'll adapt, and take advantage of what we can, and move past this, and continue to do what we do.

first we take manhattan.

i watched a leonhard cohen dvd today, this girl i like told me that she thought it was boring, but i liked it. i like it a lot, my dad told me about leonard cohen, and when i first heard jeff buckley's version of hallelujah, i had no idea it was originally a leonard cohen song. he had a good way of saying things, he could find hypnotic ways to say simple things..thats what i think anyway, i think a lot more about leonard cohen, but i'm going to keep it to myself. at this point in my life, this very small portion of my life, this very consequential time...there are only two ways to think of it, pleasantly indifferent with a good attitude, or i could just stop where the barricades are placed...but what's the fun in that. I should just move to chicago and spend my life savings on a hotel room suite along the lake in the winter time, i would ask you to come and tell you that i expect nothing, but any boy who expects nothing is always half lying, like someone who tells you that you can do anything you put your mind to. i'm growing tired of thinking so much, so i'm going to fall asleep, and ask my wife to wake me when it's all figured out, and then i'll just stand beside who ever makes my bed in the morning, complacency is a virtue to charish after your eyes open wide enough.

nothing doing.

i just joined the pearl jam fan club, a long time overdue. it cost $20 dollars, and i really don't have that to spend on something like a fan club, BUT...i'm sure it'll be worth it. i started reading another Doestoevsky book...this one is called "The Idiot" and that is exactly what it is making me feel like. Whatever.

it's true.

i've met some amazing people. certain people evoke a very gracious attitude towards living, and experiencing their charm, their eclective nature, their cynical nature, their loving nature, their selfless nature, their stubborn nature, thier theological knowledge, their farmhand mentality, their down to earth resonance.
i love you.

whenever i get lazy

i'll just post some lyrics from a song that is making sense to me at the time. and today it's this song by "the good life" i'm gonna go grocery shopping.

"I'm not an artist,
I'm an asshole without a job,
making money off alcohol.
Making money off calling myself out,
"Look at me! A fraud, a phony!"
Entertainer-
that's all you'll ever become.
You're no artist - you're a musician.
So entertain us,
come on and sing us a song.
Keep the customers drunk.

I'm not a writer,
I'm a kid with a guitar,
and a notebook of scattered thoughts.
Hum a tune, strum the blues,
write some cryptic words.
Whatever works to get you to the next verse.
Entertainer-
and once the curtains are drawn
you're screaming contradiction.
So entertain us,
come on, sing us a song
The customer's never wrong

I'm not a singer,
I'm the one with the microphone.
I've been making shit up as I go.
I'm not a singer -
they handed me a microphone,
said "Play along! the show's gotta go on!"
And the show must go on
"Entertain us! Entertain us!"
Give the customers what they want.
Entertainer-
you're so down in the mouth,
but sales are up this month."

sad song.

There was no more chemistry, exciting chords or harmonies,
infectious riffs or melodies to sing.
Twas' not a single speck of magic there
in that tangled mess of moving air,
so we shut off all our amps and we called it quits.
And this old house grew quiet as the cars they pulled away,
in this uninspired ending of this uninspiring day.
And it got so awful quiet now except for passing cars
or the hum of drunken discords creeping from the local bars.
Not another song, the music died,
though our ears and fingers tried,
our tired hearts could not provide a tune.
And was it true? Where we really through,
but I just began to sing what I wanted to.
D minor was the final chord and Kevin played it hard,
and it resonated down the hall and out into the yard.
And I remember thinking that we lost something that day
as I rolled up all my chords and put my guitar away.
Not another song, the music died,
though our ears and fingers tried,
our tired hearts could not provide a tune.

good thing Iran didn't make this mistake.

this is from the BBC:

"The US Air Force has launched an investigation after a B-52 bomber flew across the US last week mistakenly loaded with nuclear-armed missiles.
It follows reports in the Army Times that five missiles were unaccounted for during the three-hour flight from North Dakota to Louisiana.

The air force said the cruise missiles were safe at all times.

Army Times said the missiles were to be decommissioned but were mistakenly mounted on the bomber's wings.

The W80-1 warhead has a yield of five to 150 kilotons, the paper said."


haha, nice move. could you imagine if Iran or North Korea made this mistake. I'm sure we'd just smile and say, "don't let it happen again." Ridiculous.

Here's the whole story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6980204.stm

kind of interesting.

while we all know that john wilkes booth killed abraham lincoln, i recently found out that the brother of john wilkes booth, edwin booth (who was a supporter of lincoln) actually saved the life of robert todd lincoln. i thought that was interesting. we're in salt lake city today, and it's hot outside.