If anyone is spineless, its me.
I haven't posted lately, mainly because i've been spending my time racking my brain with pathetic creations of stress causing situations-- maybe accurate, maybe inaccurate. I had a lovely Christmas and I am planning on having a lovely New Year. Party at my house, everyone come, unless you weren't invited. I bought some records, read some books, bought some sweet gifts for my family and spent time with friends. I saw some movies too. One sunday, I sat through a harrowing sermon in which the incredibly knowledgable and seemingly biggoted southern baptist preacher went on for an hour with politcally inclined ramblings about how the "pro choice" supporters might as well be referred to as "pro death", also mentioned how the "UN is spineless", commented negatively on "liberal" ideals and came up with some deragatory acronym for the ACLU. So here's the deal, while writhing in my seat from a headache and the disbelief at the sight of this man spewing personal agenda to a passive audience of senior citizens and youth group kids--I was angered not because of his opinions on politics, (he sounded so warm and forgiving when he said that he thought the only way to deal with religious martyrs was to kill them, he was referring to the Iranian president and other extremists, overlooking the fact that his comment was quite ironic and it showed a degree of naivety when dealing with foreign policy and the ramifications of such "gung ho" actions), what I was so taken back by was the fact that none of his rants had anything to do with God, Jesus, or Christmas. His podium served to act merely as a soapbox in whch he could rattle off all of his personal politics which came to him during the past week while he watched some FOX and CNN. I couldn't deal with it, or understand his approach. After he was done preaching to a choir of people who he KNEW would not challenge anything he said, I wondered if he served any purpose in bringing anyone closer to God. If anyone there was not a christian when the went into the service, I am almost sure they were not any closer to becoming one on the way out...which is the bitch of it all really. So there ya go, another church experience which seemed to alienate me more, moving me further away from identifying with any current stream of cultural christian ideals. I haven't spoken much about my thoughts concerning God or religion lately, and mainly because it becomes redundant. So I apologize...thankfully, my "everyday" resonates with Gods grace, which I have yet to be able to deny (not that I'm trying or anything arrogant like that). Thank you God--are you laughing or crying, or merely bewildered? Are you proud or do you feels stings of regret? What are you thinking about?
Here are some quotes I read recently, and I liked them.
"A christians thinking is perverted; even when he humbles himself, it is to be exalted"-Nietzsche
"The church has become the precisely the insitution that Jesus wanted to abolish"--I forget who said this, maybe I just read it in a book.