Monday, December 10, 2007

soy boraccho

I'm simply awaiting my death, either by means of bad road conditions or old age. I suppose meeting God will be kind of like quitting a bad a job or telling a girl how you really feel. You'll get all these great poetic and cliche lines ready to spew her way, expecting her to surrender to your passion or your hormones and curious lust...some hallmark line you stole from a movie you saw that you hope she hasn't seen, or some obscure song that was a b-side on an old Descendents record, whatever, she's heard it all before, so has your boss, and so has God. I suppose I'll just stand there and humbly turn in my two weeks notice, and wait to be told which door to leave through. Either way, I'm gonna see an old friend's little sister tomorrow...but her sister is pretty much grown up which will be a trip. I'll see her face and only be reminded of my friend's house on Butternut Court or Sheridan, high school frustration to the fullest, she was just a girl who led me on, but at the same time really cared about me, adolescent bus ride torture. We eventually kissed and her step dad and I would always talk guitars or Eric Clapton, he's amazing, Bill is amazing, not Eric Clapton, he kind of lost some points with that annoying song, "My Father's Eyes." I'm fooled by all you flippant and flaky, yet interesting girls with nothing going on in their lives aside from a false sense of pseudo freedom and predictable opinions on religion and politics, the kind of opinions that don't really say anything, they just imply naivety. Hey I'm no professor either, so what do I know aside from what I read in books that Chomsky or Dostoevsky wrote? Antiquated classic psycho-analysis developed into infecting fictional stories and contemporary political activism, It's easy at my age, almost predictable. I'm your typical college drop-out. I'll eventually be forced back in..I'll be the old guy in class that goes home to his wife, not his dorm. Drives home to his baby girl, not his OAR poster.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think you can ever be predictable if you're self aware...
because predictability comes from being a mindless regurgitation of what your environment throws at you.
and the entire reason I love reading you blogs is because you're so incredibly self aware that it makes me feel like there are other living breathing people with honest hearts...

12:06 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"the only people that interest me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yearn or say a common place thing... but burn, burn, burn like roman candles across the night" (original vers, kerouac)

12:06 AM

Blogger Melanie said...


I think you do way too much thinking to be simply awaiting death. Then my other thought was "were the road conditions really that bad on the way to Denver?" ;) Sorry.. bad joke. That has to be on the minds of those who tour, though.

I really don't think there is much typical about you, though.

BTW, my husband went back to school (not back to college really, because he had only gone as far as high school) with two kids and one on the way. It's not such an uncommon thing anymore. I always wanted to be the one who went back to school when her kids were grown, but it just hasn't worked that way.

Predictability isn't all bad, as long as there are also challenges along the way. There usually are.

I hope your visit goes well.


P.S. I know.. sometimes my responses are rather random?

12:33 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps predictability wouldn't be such a bad thing if people were more focused and on track with their lives and the things that they want. I truly believe that we meet everyone in our lives for a reason even if we are never smart enough to figure out why. Don't get lost in the world trying to save everyone but yourself because in between your breaths you might forget and take things for granted, when one must never take anything for granted. As humans we all tend to lead our lives in search of something, most commonly (and predictable) would be happiness, it's only until the day that we realize that we're never going to find what it is that we're searching for because it doesn't exist, that we can truly live, for the example above, happiness is a choice and will never be brought upon by materialistic or superficial things, only perhaps reinforced by the closest people around us. Set goals, and dreams for your life, and live them, no matter what anyone else says or does, or thinks about it for that matter. Dare to dream because life is too short to sit around without a sense of self accomplishment, what you do is amazing, don't ever forget that.

3:51 AM

Blogger Melanie said...

I'm not sure happiness is a great goal anyway. Some of the most unhappy people in the world seem to be the ones who chase it. An overall contentment or joy in life is a better goal and more attainable and I think it's found in the ups and downs of life somewhere. Happiness is a fleeting emotion. It comes and goes. Contentment is a choice. I rather equate it with the joy mentioned in the New Testament.

5:48 AM

Blogger erin grosski said...

man, i like the way you write things.

1:08 PM

Blogger Wendy said...

Melanie: That's an interesting point - I never really thought about it that way. One of my main goals in life is to be happy, but I guess "happiness" in the sense of total euphoria every day is a little bit unrealistic, and contentment means you can kind of roll with the punches better than getting hung up over bad situations because they ruin your "happiness".

8:44 PM

Anonymous Vanessa Saunders said...

i like the title of ur blog hehehe

8:46 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have never cared about happiness
I know that sounds ridiculous
But all I care about is fun...
I'm just so overwhelmed with the fact that I am alive that I am just ecstatic to wake up everyday.
I have things to accomplish, mostly because i think they would be fun...
I must sound like such a college kid right now haha, so idealistic
but I like it that way
ever notice that kids never have to strive for happiness? I guess I never grew up.
I don't understand why you would want to be "on track."
I would much rather live for the's only been the spur of the moment decisions and actions in my life that have brought me any real success

9:04 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

ooh, thats it? gimme more!

9:43 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

have you considered online classes?
I have no idea how much you have left in your degree, but let's say you do one or two courses at a time ... if you don't go back for two or three years you would still be a semester ahead when you did go back.
Even if yuor school doesn't offer correspondence, they probably allow you to complete a semester worth of credits at an 'acredited university'. Which means you just need to find equivalent courses - they could be your electives - at any university.
Even if you have to do a month or two on the road, if you started while on break it wouldn't be that bad...
Just a thought, i know that's what a lot of my buddies are doing who are pursuing the music thing right now

7:29 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

it's almost 5am and im supposed to be studying for my exam tomorrow, but instead i'm listening to skyline drive on repeat for motivation and reading your blog haha (which has also proven great motivation).

everyone's talking about happiness, and the quote i always think of is by c.s. lewis: "If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." it just makes me think that maybe joy is different than happiness and it's okay if i don't get it from all of the things some people seem to get it from. maybe i'm not supposed to?

just a thought. back to stats:(

p.s. you're brilliant.

1:48 AM


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