Thursday, January 31, 2008

note to self.

I am not interested in anything new, I am not motivated to research digital possibilities, all that is binary or convenient. I do feel as we make giant leaps forward. Leaps that, with each swallowing stride, reduce the need for tangible, visual, visceral communication. I was in the car with my friend Elizabeth a long time ago, and she was writing a poem, she was looking for these words that were "visceral". I feel like visceral experiences are becoming rare, being drunk on the digital is not nearly as intoxicating as being shot in the heart with the electric shock of experiencing the spin of earth under your own two feet. I tell you, you should grow your hair, long...down your back, to your thighs, your knees, your feet, and then to ground, and from there, let the earth take over...your hair will take root, and I swear you'll have some sort of epiphany. I'm reticent to put any effort into much of anything emerging these days. I'm becoming just like these old bitter men I used to laugh off, the ones who were ousted from their dreams, they tried their best to keep their balance on the shrugging shoulders of indifference, but they lost it, and fell off, and all become experts on how things were, they were "pure" and now they act as if they bowed out themselves...but it wasn't that at all. they were ousted and they reacted poorly, like any human with an archaic ego...I used to scoff at these people, and now i'm finding that I understand what they meant, what they were upset with, and I'm only 26. I'm stuck in the middle of seeing myself turn into these type of people, and at the same time, realizing how futile it is to hold grudges against anything or anyone, so that's why I'm enamored with an idea of resignation, pleasantly bowing and taking a seat in lobby of whatever generation i feel most at home. I can't ignore the advantages that come with development (medically and in energy research), but I seem to see the worst in it, and that is a drag. It a shot to my ego if I can't name a Jackson Brown song, it gets to me. I hate that I'm not familiar with 80's era Bob Dylan. Although, you'd think that me doing what I do, i'd be eager to know Logic or Pro-Tools inside and out...but I don't have the motivation. I feel odd if I choose to buy the new Tegan And Sarah CD, and not the Joan Baez record. I don't move ahead, I feel regressive. I had a good talk with a man named Barry who works at a record store today, and I realized that there is a 90% chance that I will not like a new band someone tells me to like..and that just isn't right. Where would my band be if it weren't for people who would give new music a chance, where would new authors be, where would new artists be? It's just a difference of mentality. I wouldn't be a good politician, I wouldn't embrace change. But hey, I'm on the internet as much as the next person. I pick and choose. I feel like with all this change going on, it's kind of like a movie with killer CGI...it looks really great, stellar even. The picture and the colors are so sharp, everything looks so real...it's a microcasm for our society's development, always growing, always moving forward...but I go to see a movie because of the plot, the story, the actors, the emotion it pinpoints visually, sonically and with a well writing script..not the fancy tricks of illusion and computers. The holes in development are hidden by bright colors and superficial grandiose fluff. It's a strange thought how the internet can be so helpful and so disastrous. I'm the man at the corner booth in the bar who is polite, opinionated and ignorant. I'm like an old stubborn man who is pleasant and cute because of his short sighted views. Is it ironic that i just blogged this?

4 Comments:

Blogger AJ said...

i think this is one of your most endearing attributes.

5:08 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, don't worry, God has caught up with the digital age!
http://alicebot.org/igod/

And, I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that robots are capable of reproduction now too...

It seems the more you look into it (my degree is in this stuff) the more powerful and disturbing technologies you find.
like nanodust.

"the only thing necessary for evil to triumph, is for good men to do nothing." - or something like that

8:25 AM

 
Blogger Melanie said...

You know, tonight I can pretty much relate to everything you said. Should that scare me? ;)
I am in one of the most cynical of moods.

I feel somewhat caught in between a lot. I used to care so much about politics that I was on the local Central committee in CA. Today, I almost zoned out on the primary. I used to be an election clerk. Now the system is so different (in less than 5 years) I had no idea what to expect. I almost didn't care. That kinda scared me a little.

As for 80's.. I'm in a time warp on that one. I was raising kids. LOL

I'm not an "old man" more an "old woman", but this kinda sounds too close to home today:

"...and all become experts on how things were, they were "pure" and now they act as if they bowed out themselves...but it wasn't that at all. they were ousted and they reacted poorly, like any human with an archaic ego...I used to scoff at these people, and now i'm finding that I understand what they meant, what they were upset with..."

Anyway, the irony in your blog.. that is what I can probably relate to most. I'm suffering from inertia. Maybe it would be a good time to read Eccliastes as it may just match my mood tonight. Sigh...

So now what do we do about it?

12:55 AM

 
Blogger Drop-kickTheSun said...

This is really very interesting -- and definitely how I feel about progress and the furtherance of "civilization" as we know it. It's all one big double-edged sword, and many times, I choose to see only the negative side -- or, feel as if the negative side is much greater than the positive. The world is fucked, but I'm still hopeful. Always.

Oh, and if you're interested, I write a pretty wicked blog sometimes. As do you.

8:56 AM

 

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