Monday, April 16, 2007

juxtaposed.

I'm in the front lounge of the bus, driving north from Portland to Seattle, and on either side of me, there are the forests where the color green was invented, a grey sky that houses inspiration and intropsection, and a lucid serenity that makes everything else seem like a waste of time. I'm feeling kind of slow this morning. Another close friend of mine is getting married soon, I saw her in San Francisco and even though she's the same age as me, she is a lot older. I opened up CNN.com today (which has become increasingly lame lately) and I read about a school shooting at VA Tech, and the Old School DVD is on the title screen on the TV, repeating itself over and over. So here I am...I feel like a conduit for stories and ideas, songs and thoughts, pictures and naive or misplaced desires to pass through. Nothing is really sticking lately, I haven't opened a book in a few days. Sometimes I don't really konw what Elliott Smith is singing about. When I was in High School, one of the main problems I had with reading was that I never really picked up on symbolism or underlying themes, etc. I still have that problem I think. Sometimes my friends point out the most obvious things to me that I should've picked up on...Elliott Smith is perfect example. The song "Twilight". We did a photoshoot yesterday, it went well. I spent a few hours in different clothes, some that felt like me, some that didn't, looking into a camera pretending I'm sure of myself. The photographer was Alicia Rose, she was fun, and good at what she does. After the shoot, Dave and Jacob and I ate at a restaurant and had some drinks and didn't say much of anything. We didn't really need to.

16 Comments:

Anonymous kassie said...

Sometimes your blog reads like a novel.

1:20 PM

 
Blogger voyelleente said...

agreed.

1:30 PM

 
Anonymous Em said...

It's strange that you mentioned high school reading, because I'm supposed to be writing about symbolism from the book The Old Man and the Sea right now, and by symbolism I mean what my teacher has been told I should believe. Heaven forbid I have an opinion of my own.

Aannddd! I love Elliott Smith! Twilight reminds me of like when I'm really craving some food (like how I really want a good hotdog right now, which is weird because I find them kind of repulsive) and I can't have it for some reason, so I eat something else, and then like 5 seconds after I finish eating someone will like call and be like, "Want to go eat (whatever it was that I was craving)?" and then I feel extremely remorseful.
I'm not really sure why that song reminds me of that, because it has nothing to do with the song, but yeah, it just does.

Aannnddd! the VA Tech thing is very sad. It's all that's been on since I got home.

2:35 PM

 
Blogger Zach said...

twilight reminds you of your hunger for hotdogs? interesting.

3:34 PM

 
Anonymous John said...

Something about this sounds as if I wrote it myself, minus the ability to travel the country and spend a few hours feigning confidence.

But just in case it helps, you're not alone. Very few people are truly confident with who they are, very few feel comfortable in their own skin.

And for the record, the symbolism is something that I had to force myself to learn, and now almost wish I hadn't. Sure, sometimes it's nice to see some horribly hidden simile, but I much prefer to just be able to appreciate the story. But, if you're really wanting to learn to read between the lines, I would suggest reading through w/e twice, and reading very slowly the second time, and thinking just about every sentence o paragraph through for a while after you read it. Just something that helped me

3:40 PM

 
Anonymous em said...

"Memory Lane" makes me want to see the circus and dance all the way there.

5:43 PM

 
Blogger Amanda said...

Symbolism is hard to figure out... it takes a lot of remembering which color means what and what certain words mean and whatnot. It took me almost an entire year of AP English in high school for me to figure most of it out and a lot of it has just simply escaped my mind.

The VA Tech thing really shows how un-safe college campuses are... I don't have mace but a good can of WD-40 could go a long way and it's just a scary thing

10:01 PM

 
Blogger Joel said...

I have driven the road from Portland to Astoria several times, and even though having been all over and seen beautiful sites, that drive is by far one of the most enjoyable I have ever known.

You are correct.

6:34 AM

 
Anonymous Chris said...

I don't want to sound arrogant, but I'm fairly smart, yet I've always done VERY poorly on reading comprehension. And then I know those people who could take the sentence, "He lived by himself" and write a seven-page paper about what that all means.

3:48 PM

 
Blogger Rachel said...

hahaa. hahahaha.
i just went to dave's blog accidentally & you know, he has like 7 blogs or less. and i was soo sad. because i thought it was yours and i was like why would you delete everything? and that made me really sad. good thing you didn't!

ha. okay. i'm sad though, because my parents won't let me attend your concert tomorrow night at the crystal ballroom at portland. :( but, actually maybe i will go if no one will buy my ticket. because, you see, i have lacrosse practice & they won't let me skip because we supposedly have a "really important, the biggest game of the season" on thursday, so i have to go to practice. so, if i end up not selling the ticket, do you think i could like still come to the concert & meet up with you or something? because, yeah. you & mae are my favorite & i'm not even just saying that. yeah. :):)


anywayyy. i like reading your blog. i like reading your thoughts. it's like, pleasantly nice.

4:57 PM

 
Anonymous katie / despite.these.rains said...

hi. this is not a comment on this particular entry, other than to agree with the rest of these people who enjoy your blog. i enjoy it, also.

rather, this is a comment to mention two things i thought might interest you.

1. there is someone in the fredericksburg, va are with a license plate that reads "evrglow". i saw it about a month ago and was all, haha i know what that means! also, i am sure that it was mae-inspired because there were a bunch of band stickers on the car's back window. talk about fame(!).

2. speaking of elliott smith, i don't know if you like tattoos at all, but this one might interest you.
http://modblog.bmezine.com/2007/04/07/figure-8-tattoos/
http://modblog.bmezine.com/2007/04/10/figure-8-tattoo-in-context/
i thought it was pretty sweet. warning: there is other stuff on that blog that is kind of graphic/potentially disturbing.

hope you are well! peace.

10:28 PM

 
Anonymous katie / despite.these.rains said...

oh man! blogger is eating my links. let me try again.

http://modblog.bmezine.com/2007/04/07/
figure-8-tattoos/

http://modblog.bmezine.com/2007/04/10/
figure-8-tattoo-in-context/

it might require some cutting and pasting to get these to work. sorry.

10:31 PM

 
Anonymous Rachael M. said...

I love how your blog reads.

I live in Vancouver, WA. Driving through any forest in the NW under a cloudy sky is one of the most relaxing things I've ever experienced. Being as I'm only 17 that isn't saying much, but pearly clouds and unbelievably green trees feel like home.

I haven't picked up a good book in a while. I just read Of Mice and Men, but it was over so fast I didn't realize it had alreay started and I need to read it again.

10:41 PM

 
Blogger rachel! said...

heyyy! haha. want to hang out tonight after your show? :DD

9:00 AM

 
Anonymous gaby said...

goodjob in sf
gluck with the rest of the tour

7:44 PM

 
Blogger Melanie said...

I tend to think most of us at some time or another has missed the "obvious", especially when it comes to symbolism. Sometimes things just click right away, sometimes they don't. We all have our own frame of reference on such things and fortunately, we are all unique.

I wish sometimes there was time to really talk about something before/after shows. It was good to see you, even if I only got the chance to wave. :)

I was pretty struck with what you said about there not being need for conversation. It's kinda nice to be able to be with people when that is the case.

Take care,
Melanie

6:47 AM

 

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