Sunday, March 11, 2007

routines and rants.

Hey everyone, my life progresses from one state of immobilization to another. When I'm home, I'm mostly aware of the rare beauty in my life that comes from being in one place for more than one or two days. The sun shines in my window in the morning in mostly the same spot. I wake up knowing exactly where I am, how I am positioned and how I fit into the schematics of my neighborhood. I know that if I look out my bedroom window to the right, there is the end of my street, and if I look to the left, I see another street running perpindicular to mine. I know exactly where to go to get what I want. There's is a welcome sense of boredom and laziness when I'm not on tour, although, when I'm on tour it is kind of the same, and kind of different. I'm on a bus now, and even though I'm in a different town each day, I still feel confined to a bus with no easy means of going any where unless it is a close walk. Every morning I wake up in a pitch black bunk (I love it) and I check my phone, and then I wonder where the bus is, and where the closest place to get food is, but I have no idea of how I'm positioned in the city. When I walk out of the bus, I could either walk left or right, and if I walk to the right, I could wander into some strange business district with nothing but office buildings, seemingly devoid of any thing but copy machines and parking garages with security guards. What if I had walked to the left off of the bus, I might have ran into a plethora of deli's, waffle houses and bagel stands. It's all very consequential, little decisions like that, when you have no idea where you are going. It's cause for a stubborn sting of regret down the road, but if you find some food near by, you don't think anything of the decision that led you to where you happily are. The negative aspects of life always stick with us, so I guess it's good to make an effort and remember the better things that have happened, but not dwell, or obsess on them in an unhealthy way...but remember that it happened, and it will happen again. Who knows? As for now, i'm stuck in routine. A routine which oddly revolves around a block of time that lasts merely 45 minutes of each day. There are so many people and creatures swarming all throughout the cities we visit. We were in Times Square the other day, and I think that the subway stations are really just underground laboratories that create people and spit them out programmed and ready to function (some have glitches, some are deceptively immaculate), and I guess it happens all over the city, but Times Square is the hub of it all. Kind of like the U.S. military...there are certain main bases within the borders of the US, but there are little hubs all over the world spewing honest and ideal men, women and specificly self interested policies into parts all over the globe, green with justified pride and ideals, some with glitches-- perhaps spotted with a gung ho backwoods enthusiasm plagued with the kind of blind patriotism that can be a bit ridiculous, but who am I to judge? People are merely results of one thing or another which they have little control over. Although I should clarify, I am not myself a military man, I would prove to be a liability to any platoon I was a part of, but I can't express my thanks enough to the men and women who are part of the military, who either do it because they have no other way to survive in America, or because they feel a responsibility. It doesn't matter I suppose, my dad was in the army, my good friend Terra is in the airforce, my good friend Adam was in the airforce, and a lovely young gentlemen last night was in the Navy. And I'm staying thanks for what you do, regardless of what bullshit political party I align myself with as a result of the other political party (yeah, we only have two parties to chose from which ultimately end up being one in the same) being even worse. Jeez, how did I get to where I am in this post...free verse and stream of consciousness..blah blah. Thanks to all of you kids who came to see us play these last night two nights. It has been interesting getting into the grove of being a touring band again. It has not gone on without certain hold ups here and there, but we're sinking in nicely. I need to find some food. Right now, I'm waiting for a taxi to come and take me to a hotel. It's all so hectic, I should go home and make myself a nuisance in someonenice person's life, perhaps a tall refined woman who writes stories. I'll just hound her until she makes me makes me a character in one of the stories she writes, it's all just my sense of pride and "graphomania" disguised as humility and insecurity....it's more endearing that way...the worst kind of deception. hahahahaa....HA.

5 Comments:

Blogger Kristen said...

I always enjoy reading your journal entries, they always make me think. And sometimes you run into members of Mae in Times Square and they give you high fives haha. The nyc show was amazing, good luck with the rest of the tour and tonight in Boston if it wasn't for my midterm in my night class I'd be there.

10:05 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you guys were great in NYC. Great show!

-Catherine

6:51 PM

 
Blogger Cathryn said...

Your blogs are always so inspirational, Zach--and by that I mean that I can't read them without posting my own response of sorts on my blog. Thanks for taking a second to update us on your thoughts. Good luck on tour!

11:43 PM

 
Blogger Melanie said...

I love the way you veered off and meandered back to the main topic. LOL I can relate.
I can't particularly relate to the tour bus situation, but I can relate to what you said about knowing where you are, and the other feelings you describe as well. I would think NYC would be a good place to get lost, or the most frightening of places depending on where you end up and your mindset at the time. It's an interesting city, though.

Glad you are settling in a bit on the tour. By the time I see you in April, things will have settled quite a bit. BTW, when you get to Salt Lake City, walk out the Club Sound door and go to the right, and to the left will be Gateway Mall. ;) I wouldn't want you to get lost. All silliness aside, I'm looking forward to seeing you then.

6:20 AM

 
Blogger Sara said...

thanks for writing that! it really made me think.

7:12 AM

 

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