could you imagine?

My life has existed in a comfortable middle, a bed of greys, mostly soft and within reason. I have only seen the opposing ends of existance merely in brief, distant glances, like a passenger on a fast moving train looking through a window at the neglected sects of a city.... and that alone is enough to suck the breath right out of me. The diametrical opposites of an unexplainable and unpenetrable love, juxtaposed against a despondent something, an action or decision based on nothing other than a last resort. The soft middle is where words like "love" and "desperation" take on meanings that are much less offensive, much less impacting, much less consequential. "Love" in the middle is treated like a cheap marriage, a marriage in hollywood...... Anyway do you ever become aware, when you feel or experience anything real or honest? Some hint of truth that escapes its confines for one second, or maybe one whole minute and makes you completely drunk and incapable of putting anything you're feeling into words? Everything that the world is made of, the schematics of life and love, lies under a blanket of distraction and our eyes become glazed to it, maybe a tad like the "matrix", but not so cinematically sinister, although equally as important? I'm drinking wine right now and my head is becoming heavy. There is snow outside, and babies being born, love being discovered, love being wasted, love being made, the sun continues to role across the sky, everything continues as it has for centuries, and we are blind and arrogant enough to think we are a culmination here on earth. The world continues, and we continue our desire to just get along. My world is much too small for any kind of wisdom to be gained.