ZZzzz.

I'm listening to Bob Dylan right now and outside the bus is Boise, a rather charming city. Last night we played in Salt Lake City and it was one of those shows when I realize how thankful I should be. Thanks to everyone who came to that show and to everyone who continues to teach us more than we can imagine about what we do and the blessing that is. It's strange that so many people have come up and thanked us, I truly believe it should be the opposite. We will forever be thankful to all of our fans and those who come out to our shows, beyond words. Recently I was listening to Live and I was reminded of how blind I am, and we all are. I ask for so much, all the time, I ask for proof, and explanation as if it's hard to find everyday in every city I find myself in. There's this song by Live called "Heaven", and we were driving to Salt Lake,( which by itself is an experience that rips your spirit right out of you and tries to drag you along with it out into the desert, like it belongs there or something), but this song has this lyric, it's in the chorus, and it says, "I don't need no one to tell me about heaven, I look at my daughter and I believe"....maybe some people would think this is cheesy, but I think it does a great job of reminding me that it's rather obvious that there is something going on that I can't even tap into, because if I did, I couldn't take it. The whole idea of creativity and creation alone is something that I can't fathom, a inexplicable desire and drive to understand something so intangible and so undeniable. When I think about it, it is over whelming, but I can't stop thinking about it, because it is so abundant in everything I see, and it's strange because it's so obvious to me, and other people can ignore it, we are all built so differently. Hmmm....can the desire to understand anything completely become a burden due to the fact that I can never fully understand it, the same thing that can be discouraging is the same thing that is exciting about it. So, anyway...I go through the same things all the time, it's cyclical and the answer always ends up being illusive. Kierkegaard talks about how music is something that serves as a conduit for expression, communcations which would otherwise be impossible, a spiritual language or something, and how right he is. I feel like I'm just floating somewhere, i'm exhausted, and my brain can't make sense of what it sees, my heart can't beat strong enough for my own good, the blood can't move fast enough.