whatever.

first off, i should say this....i love my family immensely, it's impossible to fathom really. it's a love so encompassing that it becomes a reality, and is so easy to forget about the weight of it all. i don't take it for granted, but i'm guilty of becoming to use to the miracle of it.

today, i was on my back...lying on a dock, waiting for 8:08 pm to roll around. while i was looking up towards the sky, it appeared to be similar to a river, flowing, indifferent to our existence. it appeared to be a glimpse into the heavenly, the supernatural, God if you will. i went through an intoxication of beauty which was exploding out of the moving current of the sky, and all of a sudden, my perspective changed. I realized that the river kept moving, it seemed indifferent to me, to us; it was moving independently of us, it could've cared less about our desire to be loved, to be forgiven, to be understood, and then I realized that i wasn't staring into a glimpse of heaven; rather, I was staring into my own mind's wanderings. the "supernatural" was merely my eyes seeing my own idea of perfection..something so evil! and that idea of perfection still fell short. maybe our minds can not perceive God's beauty, maybe it would simply short our circuits, and drive us batty.

hmmm. I'm tired.