the american reality?

There are times when one feels broken, or I should say that there are times when one becomes aware of the fact that they are broken. I would argue that we are all broken constantly, from day one. The original sin that sets us climbing up that ladder from day one. I remember when my mom had me take swimming lessons, I can't recall how old I was, it must of been that foggy age where I can remember certain days or moments that could very well be inaccurate, and that only exists isolated from any contexts, they simply float idle in my memory. The swimming instructor told me to swim towards him, and as I started to swim, he proceeded to walk slowly away from me, forcing me to swim further than I originally thought I had to. The metaphor is screaming. There is always some frustrating phantom sweeping through my fragments. One could optimistically call it God, or one could, in a paranoid fit, call it the Devil, or one could merely call it the reactions of a sober mind to the insane juxtapositions of the human spirit, which is in a constant flux of giving me hope and also reminding me of the constant failure we display to reconcile what living demands of us vs what the human spirit needs in order to breath. All of this political drama is reminding me that the American Dream is no longer a dream at all, I suppose there is an American ideal which needs the awareness of the whole world to be realized, but the American Dream is now merely the American reality. The American Dream, or as I've been reading about lately, John Winthrop's ideal of a "city upon a hill" which calls for a very ideal sense of community in which we rejoice and suffer together (sounds suspiciously socialistic!!), it now exists as a historic sermon, nothing more. Now, all we feel we have a responsibility for is ourselves, our own self interest, and who can blame us!! We can barely keep our own heads above water, lest we worry about others who we've been poisoned to think "leach off of the system"...we've become a cold cold country, which views anyone in need of help as a lazy failure who didn't work hard enough. This nation is void of Christian ideals, and from day one, this country has made God it's own whore. I get tired of myself, just as you get tired of reading me bitch. I'm exhausted of all this talk, the joke will never cease because we will never grasp what it is we are supposed to grasp. We face trials as one, and we face trials as a nation, and the two are incommensurable. The will of the individual is constantly at odds with what one feels to be the will of the collective, and when one enters into the will of God, all falls to the side and merely adds to the internal riot. There is always reason to be constantly in awe. We are shaped, and our ethics are defined by our experience, our God is defined by our experience and is funneled down that narrow road of what our eyes and ears have seen, of what our heart has experienced. My fragments are being agitated and they are screaming for me to move them in one direction.

Hey Chris, Chris from Punchline. Hey man..what's up. This blog's for you!